


Tea Shop Tryst

by Nhitori



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-06 23:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5434259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nhitori/pseuds/Nhitori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tohri Nishikikouji can't believe he shares a favorite type of tea with somebody so rude and ignorant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“One mango bubble tea!” Tohri Nishikikouji practically shouted at the cashier, startling her and causing her to shrink back a bit before stepping forward to the register again, looking up at the person who had just shocked her. He didn’t seem to be all /that/ much taller than average, except that he was wearing ridiculous heels which made him tower over the barista, “And… I have a coupon!”

“Uhm… sir…?” She questioned, unsure of the person before her’s gender, but he nodded at that and she continued, “I… can’t do anything with any coupons until the order is completed. You never told me what size of tea you wanted.”

“What size of tea I want?? Isn’t that obvious? A small! Do you really think that somebody with a face like mine needs that much caffeine? I am NATURALLY energetic and am only getting this tea for the flavor!” He insisted, leaning forward and pressing his hands down on the counter in front of him. The barista shrunk into herself again.

“I… see, okay, one small mango bubble tea…” She entered it into the register then looked back to him again, “And you said you had a coupon, sir?”

“That is correct! A coupon for fifty cents off any drink purchased at your store!” He nodded, flipping his hair back and crossing his arms.

“Well, then you can… give me the coupon, and I’ll get that sorted out for you,” She smiled at him, still trying to be polite despite the bizarreness of this customer.

“GIVE you the coupon?” Tohri questioned, sounding absolutely baffled, “What are you saying? It’s not like I have it with me!”

“Well if you don’t have the coupon then I can’t give you the discount…” She sighed somewhat, sounding nervous. Rightly so, when it came down to it.

“That’s ridiculous! I told you I have the coupon, so you need to give me the discount!” He snorted, “It’s from the newsletter! The weekly newsletter! Give me the discount!”

“Oh, well, if it’s from the newsletter, you could just pull it open on your phone. The register doesn’t let me put in discounts without scanning a coupon is all, so if you could just open the email…” She offered, only to be immediately shot down.

“I don’t have my phone with me! Why would I bring my phone with me to get a relaxing cup of bubble tea? What sort of a tea shop employee are you!?”

“Sir, I’m really just trying to do my job… I can’t give you a discount without something to scan…”

“If you MUST scan something, I’m sure you have a wealth of coupons back there that you could use for this purpose!”

“Those are rewards coupons for people who spend a certain amount of money… if I use one of them for something like this, I could get written up…”

The man in line behind Tohri was getting sick of this. He hadn’t been there at the very beginning of the transaction, but while the overdressed man argued with the barista the line was growing, and everyone in it was only getting more annoyed. Hitori in particular, the one who was directly behind this nightmare of a customer, was pissed. He’d been in the exact same position of the innocent barista before, so he really didn’t like seeing customers being so rude to employees. He also didn’t like when lines got held up. There wasn’t really anywhere he needed to be, but the other people behind him might be in a rush. So he sighed and stepped up, tapping this person’s arm, “Look. If it’s really such a big deal,” He pulled his wallet out and grabbed two quarters, holding them out to Tohri, “Here’s fifty cents. Voila.”

“It’s the principle of the thing!” Tohri shouted, hitting the coins out of this stranger’s hand. Hitori glared as he bent down and picked up the quarters, returning them to his wallet.

“So you’re just an asshole,” Hitori said, and Tohri clutched his hand to his chest, looking appalled.

“Well, I!” He tried to protest, but he really hadn’t expected to be called an asshole by a total stranger today. He huffed, then pulled a five dollar bill out of his pocket and threw it at the barista, “There. Keep the change,” He said spitefully before stomping two steps to the side, watching this mysteriously blunt stranger as he ordered.

“Small mango bubble tea, please…” Hitori sighed to the barista, handing over exact change. He had the prices here with tax memorized, “Sorry you had to deal with that guy, Mayu.”

“Ah, it’s not the first time… thanks though, Uzune. I can’t wait to go on my break and play some SIF…” She groaned, speaking much more casually with Hitori than she would with any other customer. Tohri, who was still watching and eavesdropping picked up on this.

“For somebody who claims to care about her job so much, you are certainly not showing any level of professionalism! And how did you know each other’s names!?” He butted in, slamming the counter with one hand, and only receiving flat looks from the both of them.

“I work here too,” Hitori responded in that same deadpan he’d used to call Tohri an asshole earlier, and that tone of voice was something PARTICULARLY piercing. It seemed to be a talent of his; when Tohri heard that tone, it was like he’d been shot in the heart despite not even knowing anything at all about this man, “My shift starts in forty minutes so I figured I’d drop by beforehand. She doesn’t have to treat me like a normal customer.”

“Er…” Tohri’s lip twitched, but then he started glaring again as he shouted at Hitori, “But! You ordered the exact same tea as me! You’re mocking me!”

“I wasn’t here when you ordered, so I really didn’t have the faintest idea that was what you got. I just wanted to order something simple, after she had to deal with you,” Hitori shrugged as he stepped to the side, having finished the transaction.

“There are other simple things on the menu!” Tohri insisted, not wanting to drop the idea that the rude stranger was making fun of him.

“Yes, but anything simpler than a bubble tea is an unflavored regular tea,” He shrugged, grabbing the first of the orders that came out, “And I don’t like those. They aren’t nearly sweet enough for me.”

“Hey! Uzune! I ordered first, therefore, the one that you just took is technically mine!” He complained to uncaring ears.

“The other one will be out in just a few seconds, so it doesn’t matter,” Hitori sipped the tea as he went to sit down, leaving Tohri standing there and expecting that would be the last he saw of him. Expecting, but that was not the case. Tohri went and sat down across from him once getting his own tea, and Hitori responded with annoyance, “Why.”

“That sounded different from a question…” Tohri noted with scrutiny, ignoring Hitori’s annoyance, “More like a statement.”

“It was a statement. I’m already one hundred percent fed up with you, and I gave no reason that you should sit at the same table with me. Leave me alone.”

“I will NOT leave you alone. You have hurt and humiliated me, Uzune!” He hit the table with a fist, knocking over his own tea but picking it up before any spilled. Hitori had been holding onto his own tea, so it was safe.

“I’d prefer it greatly if you were to stop using my name. I don’t know /your/ name, so it’s just this intense power imbalance at this point, honestly. It’s uncomfortable.”

“You… certainly don’t pull any punches…” Tohri twitched his upper lip again, finding himself continuously shocked by the things Hitori was saying, “How does somebody as unpleasant as you have a job working with people?”

Hitori chuckled under his breath, then looked up and smiled sweetly, giggling quietly as he spoke in a bright and almost sugary way, “I’m a good actor!” And once he’d said that, he dropped the act, back to his sullen-looking self rather than the frankly adorable display he’d just made. If not for the heavy layer of foundation Tohri wore, it would be obvious he was blushing at this, though that only added to his current frustration.

“I refuse to accept this! Unpleasant people should not be allowed such a skill!” He shouted, pounding on the table again with the exact same result as last time.

“You look like the type of person to consider yourself a thespian,” Hitori said, sipping his tea calmly.

“Well of course! I’m an excellent actor, and have had many main roles in various amateur productions!” He smirked proudly, holding a hand to his chest.

“So you’re a hypocrite. You just said unpleasant people shouldn’t be allowed to be good actors, and you’re unpleasant,” He didn’t even look at Tohri as he said this, drinking his tea just as calmly as he would if he were alone.

“...You are more unpleasant. I find you incredibly rude and ignorant, as well as infuriatingly capable of being /cute/. All the most NEGATIVE traits I could find in a person! You will rue the day you crossed Tohri Nishikikouji!” Tohri proclaimed, standing up and holding his tea aloft.

“So that’s your name. That’s quite the mouthful,” Hitori rolled his eyes, shaking his head, “If you keep making a scene like this, Mayu’s going to get sick of you, talk to a manager, and get you banned fr-”

“A manager! Of course!” Tohri grinned, nodding enthusiastically before he ran over to the pickup counter again, leaning over it and pointing at one of the people working on making tea, “You! You are a manager, aren’t you? I have a complaint about one of your employees!”

“...You’re that guy who was giving Mayu a hard time about a coupon earlier, aren’t you?” The manager asked as she walked over, “I assure you, she was only doing her job.”

“No, no, not her! She is incompetent, but many are, that’s not a reason to put in an official complaint! However, him,” Tohri turned, dramatically pointing at Hitori, “He is most certainly complaint-worthy! I would like to report to you that he is living a DOUBLE LIFE. He may seem polite and sweet while working the register, but he is actually an incredibly rude person!”

“I don’t care,” The manager shrugged, “Uzune is a very hard worker, it’s none of my concern what he does or how he behaves in his free time,” As she said this, Hitori noticed Tohri pointing and his boss looking at him, so he just waved half-heartedly, “And anyway, I wouldn’t fire him over something petty. This is the first steady job he’s been able to get, and he really needs it, so I’d appreciate if you stopped harrassing my employees. If you continue to be so rude, I won’t hesitate to ban you from the store.”

Tohri huffed again, turning on his heel and going back to the table where Hitori was sitting, “Well. I don’t know what sort of sob story you sold her, but clearly I’ll have to work harder to get you fired…”

“Or you could just not get me fired,” Hitori said simply, shrugging, “That’s always an option, you know. It’s not like I’ve done anything really bad to you.”

“YOU HUMILIATED ME!” Tohri insisted, waving his hands wildly in the air in front of himself.

“You were being an asshole. All I did was what any decent person should do. I resolved a situation where a customer was treating an employee as something other than a real person. No matter how you spin it, Nishikikouji, you’re in the wrong here.”

“You…” Tohri frowned, trying to compose himself. He took a deep breath, “Regardless of my own behavior, you have still been incredibly rude to me! As much as I may appreciate you getting my name correct the first time you try to say it… that does not change anything ELSE about the situation! You are still rude and ignorant!”

“You really like calling people rude, don’t you? Funny, because you’re rude,” Hitori chuckled softly, leaning on the table and looking up at Tohri, “You know, I’d really appreciate it if you left me alone sometime soon. I need to finish my tea, then start my shift, and I’d much prefer if you didn’t continue trying to harrass me while I’m trying to work…”

“That was my intention! I do not in any way want to see you while you are working! That brief glimpse into your behavior while working was very unnerving, seeing as it’s so incredibly dissonant from your personality!”

“Well to tell you the truth, you don’t know my personality. I’m only this ‘rude and ignorant’ when I don’t like somebody. It’s not like I’m incapable of being nice or friendly, I just don’t want to do it with you,” He shrugged.

“Your behavior is infuriating, Uzune!” Tohri shouted, then did that pivot-turn again, moving in such a way that his strange shoulder-cape ended up over Hitori’s face, “So I /will/ leave… but you haven’t seen the last of me! I can’t believe I share a favorite tea with somebody like you… Ugh! I am going!”

Hitori shook his head in disbelief as the strange man stormed off, sighing as he finished his tea then went into the back to hang up his coat and scarf, having worn his work uniform underneath.


	2. Chapter 2

Tohri Nishikikouji was /hoping/ he would get the opportunity to relax. His day had been incredibly stressful, between his assignment at work to design a ‘more functional gear’ by the end of the week and the encounter with that obnoxious stranger at the tea shop… and as far as he could determine, this was the best way to accomplish that. Drinks for the relaxation, and a one-night-stand to get his mind off the infuriating sight of Uzune’s insufferably cute smile.

Of course, hopes and dreams were often shattered, especially when Hitori Uzune was involved in any way. Tohri couldn’t say that he expected, upon arriving at the bar, that he would see Hitori there, but he also couldn’t very well say that he was completely surprised. After all, it would be just like him to show up here just out of spite! He immediately trompsed up and sat down on the barstool next to him, pointing at him with a sneer on his face, “Hitori Uzune! What in the world are /you/ doing /here/!?”

“Oh, it’s you…” Hitori muttered as he turned to face the enthusiastically annoyed man, “Nishi...kino?”

“NISHIKIKOUJI!” He exploded with an extreme arm movement that managed to knock the fastener on his cloak open, sending it fluttering sadly to the ground. Before he continued he leaned down and picked it up, reaffixing the leopard-printed swatch to his shoulder as he expressed his annoyance, “GOD! I remembered YOUR name, the least you can do is remember mine, especially since it’s such an AMAZING NAME…!”

“I think it’s just a mouthful,” Hitori shrugged as he tucked a bit of hair back behind his ear, “Any chance of you leaving me alone? Nobody’s gonna want to buy me a drink if they think I came here with you.”

“You never answered my question! WHY are you HERE!?” He demanded, pounding on the bar in front of him with his hands… that was quite the habit, wasn’t it? Anything to take up more space and get more attention.

“What? Are you doubting that I’m gay or something? I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It’s very rude. We can’t /all/ be as obvious about it as you are…” He leaned forward on his hands, rolling his eyes.

“Your sexuality matters not to me! Regardless of if it makes sense for you to be here or not, it’s still suspicious! There’s no way that somebody like you could possibly do anything without nefarious purposes behind your actions!” Tohri insisted, leaning forward and squinting as he looked at Hitori’s closed eyes, lips pulled back in a grimace, “I’m going to keep a very close eye on you, Hitori Uzune… You best not do anything sus-”

“Okay fine, you got me. I don’t want to spend my hard-earned cash on getting drunk so I come out to gay bars so guys buy me drinks and flirt with me. I like the alcohol and the attention,” He admitted nonchalantly, opening one eye to see Tohri’s face there in shock.

“I-I as much as I expected a reason like that from somebody as insufferable as you, I was not expecting you to admit it so freely! You do realize I have the capability now, to announce that to the entire bar and guarantee that you do not receive a single drink, not a single bit of romantic attention from any man here??”

“Well, as long as you’re talking to me you serve as a big enough ward anyway, so I think that would just be unnecessary effort on your part,” He shrugged, “Why do you care, anyway?”

“Well…” Tohri hesitated for a minute, searching for a reason, “It’s misleading! People come here looking to have a nice night, and you’re just playing them for drinks and attention!? That’s selfish and horrible!”

“I dunno, assuming that anyone you hit on is automatically gonna put out seems pretty selfish and horrible too, don’t you think?” He crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling, “Besides, who says that I don’t? I mean, it’s not like I really care for the deed, but after a couple of drinks I’m certainly willing to humor somebody who does.”

“I KNEW IT!” Tohri shouted, suddenly pointing at him. Luckily, Tohri’s volume level was not actually as conspicuous here, “I knew it, Uzune! I knew that you were heartless! Empty inside! Incapable of feeling for another living being!”

“Goddamn, Nishikikouji, I’m not heartless, I’m just asexual,” He rolled his eyes, “Say that to anybody else and you could get yourself in a world of trouble. You’re lucky I know I’m not strong enough to deck you, or you’d definitely be seeing stars right now.”

“Liar! You’re completely calm right now!”

Hitori turned to look at him, face almost completely blank and voice matching, “Actually, I’m furious. Don’t see where you get off on talking about me like that, but as I said, it’s not like I can do anything about it, so I have to treat you like a mosquito.”

“A… mosquito…?”

“That’s right. A nuisance.”

“Rude! You are so rude! Rude and ignorant!” Tohri wrinkled his nose, shaking his head.

“If anything, you’re the ignorant one. Want to know more? It’s simple. I’m homoromantic, indifferent-asexual. I like guys, just not really in that whole touchy-feely way. I can’t say that I like sex, if anything I do dislike it, but I’m not /repulsed/ so if it comes down to it, I’ll do it.”

“...I see…” Tohri mumbled, looking away, “I… apologize. However! I do still believe you to be heartless, but I will not consider your sexual orientation to be proof of that!”

“Thanks.”

“...Who in the world would want to sleep with you anyway?? You’re rude and ignorant, and it’s not like you’re attractive… you’re all short and evil-looking.”

“Rude and ignorant? What a strange catchphrase. In any case…” Hitori chuckled, then smiled sweetly and gave a wink, “You can’t deny that I do have a certain charm!”

“I can and will deny that! You are not charming! Not the least bit!” Tohri crossed his arms and looked away pointedly.

Hitori just shrugged, dropping the act as he sighed, “Well, to each his own,” He then glanced at the bar, taking a quick look around the room before picking up the fake tea candle on the surface in front of him and slipping it into his pocket.

“Hey!” Tohri sniffed, “Put that back!”

“Oh, so you /were/ still looking at me after all,” Hitori muttered in annoyance, but didn’t put the candle back in place.

“Yes! And a good thing, too! If I had looked away from you for /real/ then I wouldn’t have caught you stealing! How would you like it if somebody came into your HOUSE and started stealing your things!?”

“Wow, you sound like me when I’m talking to children…” He sighed, “Nobody ever comes to my house, so that’s really no concern of mine.”

“Ha! I knew that you were lying when you said that you did sleep with people who buy you drinks!”

“What makes you say that? I just never let anyone come to my house. I go to theirs.”

“That’s yet another rude thing you do! What if somebody has a VERY good reason not to invite you back to his own home?”

“I have a very good reason, I live with eleven children… exactly the wrong environment for any sort of sexual happenings. They might hear through the walls and then you have a traumatized toddler on your hands.”

“ELEVEN!? That is too many to say, Uzune! You’re not only rude, but very bad at lying!” Tohri wrinkled his nose, then looked momentarily shocked before launching into accusations again, “I bet that’s why you actually sleep with people despite not liking it, and additionally but in an unrelated way having no soul! So you can get into their houses and steal their things! You really are evil! You are SO sus-”

“You’re right,” Hitori cut him off in the middle of the very same word as before, “I’m the only person in my household who doesn’t actually follow the golden rule. Ah, well, I’m beyond salvation anyway. You’re right, I guess. I’m evil. Got no soul at all.”

“So you admit it!” This time he wasn’t caught off guard.

“Yeah, may as well. After all, everybody loves a villain,” Hitori crossed his arms, teasing Tohri by winking at him again, then going the extra mile, “You know, you cited my shortness as something /unattractive/, but you do realize that my being short, and you being tall, I could almost definitely suck your dick while standing up?”

“You…” Tohri’s lip twitched slightly, then he brought a hand up to try and cover his face, feeling the warmth of a blush that could even manage to work its way through his foundation, “Hitori Uzune, why are you… like this.”

“You mean, rude and ignorant? Well, I guess that’s just the way that I am. What are you gonna do about it? Keep following me around and I’ll just get a restraining order, so it’s not like you can just keep on accusing me of having no soul or anyth-”

“You’re right. Rude. Ignorant. Insufferably attractive…”

“Didn’t you say all of ten minutes ago that you didn’t find me attractive at all?”

“I was LYING. It was a LIE. To save face. You know, like a crime.”

“I don’t really think saving face is a crime-”

“IT IS NOT! But YOUR lies, and YOUR crimes, are an entirely different matter! I don’t want to become involved with somebody like you! However, it seems by now that I simply have no other choice…” He looked annoyed, but then smirked a bit at Hitori, “So what AM I going to do about it? Well. I’m going to buy you a drink.”


End file.
